.our journey.

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

.meet the parents: on the flip side, your boyfriend really wants his family to like you.

its a nerve racking to know that ill be officially introduce to hubby dear's family this weekend and yeah, i never felt this nervous before ... yerp yerp yerp !!! it's meet the parents time !! adushhh.. even for interviews or meeting-ups with my boss pun tak se-nervous ni ... gosh, im scared ! lucky me that i have my hubby dear to calm me down and he promised he will be by my side all the time and will not leave me alone during the meet-up [promise is a promise hun !!] ... so, here i am, counting days and nights for the day ... both of our sides already discussed about our wedding [it's gonna be next year y'all !! yeay !!] but have not meet each other yet ... for our first step, it will be me meeting the future in-laws ... [finger crossed !! whooppsss !! *pray*] here 'are few tips i found via internet and through friends ... for those first timers meeting the future in law ... GUD LUCK ! *grins*

Meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time is a big step in a relationship. You’re taking it up a notch from casual dating; you’re saying that you’re ready to start to solidifying your couplehood by placing yourself inside of his social and familial circle and allowing them to put a face to the name. You won’t be able to slink away later as an anonymous gurl. You’re ready to announce your interest in a guy to the most important people in his life.

Thus, the experience can be a tad nerve racking. Parents are pretty protective of their sons, especially the moms. They want to feel comfortable with the idea of you as a gurlfriend, as possibly the future woman in his life. A gurlfriend can make a man completely happy or totally wreck his life, and they want to know that it’s the former. And on the flip side, your boyfriend really wants his family to like you. he wants you to shine so he can get their approval. And if he’s hoping for a long-term relationship with you, he’s got his fingers crossed that you’ll get along with them.

So that’s a lot of pressure. But you’re a gurl and you should try to be cool under pressure. But to have that kind of confidence you have to prepare. Follow the tips below, and your boyfriend’s mom will be raving about you to all her friends.

Make a Great First Impression

It’s cliché, but it’s the truth; you never have a second chance to make a first impression. Your boyfriend’s parents are going to be sizing you up and making assumptions about you the minute you walk through the door.

Dress sharp. Nothing telegraphs more about your personality than your clothes. Besides your face, it’s the first thing your boyfriend’s parents are going to be taking in when they open the door. Even if you’re just having a casual dinner at their house, look presentable and put together. It’s hard to go wrong with khakis and a nice polo shirt. Don’t wear anything too outlandish. If your clothes need ironing, iron them. [as for me, of course i have to wear hijab and yeah, loose clothes please !! no body tight clothes !! :P the parents are kindda a lil' religeous and so i hafta show that i can change to suite their way ... and yeah, dress innocently ... thats the best !! a lil' bit of colours showing that ure a cheerful person won't hurt tho ... :P a khakis and a white shirt perhaps ... with colourfull hijab ... ]

Bring flowers for mom. We instantly like people who come bearing gifts. So present mom with a classy bouquet. If you purchased the flowers from the grocery store, take a moment to remove the price tag before you get out of the car. [i think i might be bringing some desserts or pastries for the meeting ... hurmmm... cream puffs or maybe cup cakes ??? we'll see 'bout it later ... or better yet, some home made cookies ?? :) ]

Give a friendly greeting. As soon as you meet the parents, look them in the eye, smile and offer a soft handshake to both parents [in my case, only with Mama, Madihah and Kak Nan je lah ... :)] . Give a gentle handshake, not a dead fish. Address them as Mr. and Mrs. A [or perhaps, aunty and uncle ] . Do not call them by their first names until they ask you to. Even after you have met your boyfriend’s parents several times, address them as Mr. and Mrs. A until they ask you to call them by their first names.

Build Rapport

Be engaged in conversations. One of the best ways to be charming is to act genuinely interested in people. People like others who seem interested in their lives, and they love to talk about themselves. So ask your boyfriend’s parents questions and listen attentively when they talk to you. When they tell you things, ask follow-up questions to get more details. And follow the basic rules of polite conversation: avoid controversial topics, don’t interrupt, don’t swear ect. [and owh, do not ever act like u know everything in this world ... gossips and all ... eeee... say no to being such a keypoh in front of the parents yah ! *grins*]

Give compliments. It’s almost always a good idea to say how nice their house is. If the place is clearly a dump, then skip it, of course. Giving praise will backfire if it’s not sincere. If they cook for you, always compliment the grub. And ask for seconds, even if you’re not hungry. Say something nice about your boyfriend too. His parents raised him, so you’re really complimenting them at the same time. Naturally, you should never overdo it with the praise. There’s a big difference between being a kiss-up and being polite.

Don’t act nervous. Even if you are. Much of how we judge a gurl is related to her confidence and bearing. Even if his dador mom intimidates you, and is clearly sizing you up, don’t act intimidated. Look him/her right back in the eye. Speak clearly and articulately. You’ll never gain his/her respect by staring at your shoes and breaking out in a sweat. And if you appear shifty, the parents may assume you have something to hide.

Leave a Good Impression

How you leave your boyfriend’s parent’s house is just as important as how you enter. Leave them thinking happy thoughts about you.

Give them a nice goodbye. When you’re leaving, thank your boyfriend’s parents for your visit. Tell them what a pleasure it was to meet them. Shake hands again. If mom goes in for the hug, give her a good one. [i do hope she will give me a hug .. :) ]

Write a thank you note. If it was a brief meeting, this is not necessary. But if they made you dinner or you stayed at their house, write them a thank you note. If you were an overnight guest, you can do this while still in their home; leave the note on your bed or the kitchen counter. So you might want to bring some stationery with you.








-counting days-

No comments:


days hours minutes seconds ... until